Dish Out the Families!
by Strix Moonwing
Summary: Total Drama Action is over and Duncan has won! In celebration, Chris has invited all the contestant's families to be reunited with their children. Chaos and weirdness takes place when both Duncan and Gwen's families reveal a little surprise...not DxG


**Author's Notes: Okay, this was just a one-shot idea that's been floating around inside my mind for while now. After writing my two-shot, It All Started at the Mall, I began to wonder what would happen if Duncan's older brother, Derek, and Gwen's aunt, Arts, had continued their relationship as Duncan grew up. This oneshot grew out of my ponderings.**

**It is highly recommended that you first read my two-shot about how Duncan got his fear of Celine Dion standees before reading this. It's called "It All Started at the Mall…" You don't have to read it first, but it's highly recommended since it introduces Duncan's two older brothers and Gwen's Aunt. **

**Anywho, this story takes place after Total Drama Action and features family members from different contestants. Hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

Well, Total Drama Action was officially over and, truth to be told, nobody was really that sad to see the final episode. Except the fans of the shows, but those guys never got to go through the challenges like the contestants. Chris and Chief, as well, felt a sense of grief when the last episode aired, but as sadistic bastards, they really don't count.

After an insane tie between the last two finalists, Duncan and Beth, and an extremely close vote between the other contestants, Duncan was the official winner of Total Drama Action and owner of a million bucks. This revelation was a complete shocker among the viewers watching the show's final; almost none would have guessed that the mohawked delinquent would have won the favor of his fellow cast mates over the Beth. However, drama-filled show had highlighted many new aspects of each teen throughout the first and second season. For some, like Trent and his nine obsession, these newly discovered aspects hadn't gone in his favor and left him in the dust early on in the competition. However, despite Duncan's attempts to keep up his bad boy, delinquent reputation, his hidden qualities of leadership and rare acts of kindness had obviously been noticed by the other contestants.

Though Duncan would rather cut off his tongue than admit it, Chris's secret hidden footage of him acting as mother hen to the rest of the boys in the trailer, was probably the final straw that led his teammates to voting for him to win.

But for goodness sake, did that grinning idiot really have to show it on live television?

"Dude, for the last time, I'M NOT GOING TO TUCK YOU IN WHEN YOU GO TO BED!" Duncan snarled, raising a threatening fist towards one of his close friends and top partier, Geoff.

Geoff blinked his blue eyes, looking like a giant, confused blonde puppy as he gazed at his delinquent, and now millionaire, friend.

"But, bro," he whined in a hurt tone, "In the video, you tucked DJ in! Justin and Harold too, and you don't even like them! I'm your best bro!"

Two days had passed since the final Aftermath episode and, unfortunately, the contestants were still staying at the resort hotel which meant that for two days Duncan had had this oversized puppy in a cowboy hat following him away, annoying the crud out of him about that stupid tape. Duncan could have handled the other guys poking fun at him- a quick punch in the face was quick fix to that- but this…whatever it was that Geoff was doing…it was driving Duncan insane.

The millionaire delinquent slapped a hand over his face in annoyance, and slowly slid it down to reveal a probably permanent scowl stretched upon his face. Duncan slowly turned his head towards Geoff, blue eyes narrowed into glaring, irritated slits.

"Geoff…" the mohawked teen hissed, "if you mentioned that stupid video one more time, the only place you're going be tucked into is in a body bag!"

"….Can you give me a teddy bear and glass of milk too?" Geoff asked cheerfully, completely oblivious to the deadly tone of Duncan's voice.

At that moment, Beth and Lindsay walked into the hotel lobby, chatting and giggling among each other until they spotted the two boys. Lindsay smiled brightly and waved enthusiastically at the fellow ex cast-mates.

"Hi Gerald! Hi...uhhh….why is Doug hitting the wall with his head?" asked Lindsay with a puzzled frown on her face as she watched Duncan repeatedly slam his head against the wall.

"I'm not sure." Geoff answered in confused tones, watching his best bro inflict self-pain on himself. "The stress of being a millionaire must be getting to him."

"_Gotta burn that tape. Gotta burn that tape. Gotta burn that tape."_ Duncan repeated the mantra over and over again in his mind with each head bang.

"Really? What were you guys talking about?" Beth asked Geoff, ignoring the loud "thumps" coming from Duncan's direction every time his head and the wall made collision.

"I wanted Duncan to tuck me to bed tonight like he did with DJ, Justin, and Harold."

A low, threatening growling noise could be heard between the "thumps."

Lindsay jumped up and down, squealing with delight. "Oooh, that's sooo cute! I want Doug to tuck me into bed too! And to give me a teddy bear! If he doesn't have any more bears, then could he pretend to be one and sleep with me? Can he, pleeeeeeeaaasseeee?"

Geoff and Beth both gave Lindsay long, awkward stares. Even Duncan paused, with the crown of his head still pressed against the surface of the wall, and slightly turned his head enough so that he could shoot the ditzy blonde a weirded-out sideways stare.

Lindsay stopped her excitedly bounces of delight under her friends' intense stares. "What?" she asked, hands on her hips, "So I want a teddy bear! Doug gave D.G a teddy bear! I saw it with my own eyes in that one film Chip showed us!"

Duncan immediately resumed the head slamming, this time with more vigor and speed than before.

"_Gonna kill Chris. Gonna kill Chris. Gonna kill Chris."_

Beth let out a wistful sigh. "I miss having someone tuck me into bed at night." She clamped her hands together and said, with cheerful smile on her round face, "Oh, I can't wait to see my mom when the families come over today!"

At the end of Beth's announcement, there came an extra loud "thump" and sickening crack. Duncan lifted his head up, revealing a very red forehead and a large crack in the plaster of the wall. He gave the short, brunette girl a dumbfounded look.

"Our families are coming over? _Today?_" The delinquent demanded turning a few skin tones paler.

"Yes, didn't you hear Chris's announcement this morning?" replied Beth, slightly puzzled that her ex-rival would have missed out hearing on something very important. She had no idea that during the time of the announcement, Duncan's ears and hearing had been cut off from the outside world by two large headphones, blaring out a hard core metal and rock tune at deafening volumes. Before Beth could quiz Duncan to find out about this little fact, the four teens were interrupted by a loud scream.

"DUNKY-KINS!"

Four heads- two blonde, one brunette, and one mohawked- whipped around just in time to see a pretty woman with short blonde hair, blue eyes, and red sweater on rush through the sliding doors of the hotel lobby. The middle-aged woman took on quick look around the lobby, set her eyes on Duncan, and bolted towards him. Like a frightened rabbit, Duncan tried to escape towards the elevators, but was wrapped up by the woman's strong, loving embrace.

The elevators opened to let out some of the other contestants just as Duncan let out an embarrassed yell.

"MOM!"

Geoff, Lindsay, Beth, and the contestants that had just gotten out of the elevator- Courtney, Gwen, Bridgette, LeShawna, Cody, Owen, and Heather- all shook with laughter at the sight of the tough delinquent struggling to get out of his mother's embrace.

Duncan's mother ignored her son's obvious embarrassment and continued to hug her squirming son. "Your father and I are so proud of you! Winning a million dollars! Everyone at the station thought you would be the first one voted off! Well, LOOK WHO HAS THE HIGHER PAYCHECK NOW!"

At that moment, the mother caught sight of Courtney. She instantly let go of Duncan, who fell to the ground, and hurried over to meet her possibly future daughter-in-law.

"You must be Courtney." Duncan's mother said with a warm smile. She extended her hand towards the young girl's. "It's nice to finally meet you outside the television screen."

Courtney smiled nervously and shook the older woman's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs…." Courtney trailed off, realizing that she didn't actually know Duncan's last name.

"Catherine Scott." Mrs. Scott answered. The mother's face grew sly. "Now, I'm sure you have some stories to tell, especially about a certain son of mine."

Courtney's expression looked gleefully evil. "Oh, I can think of a few that didn't make it to the screen."

While the girls gossiped, Geoff helped Duncan to his feet. "Dude, I never thought I'd say this, but your mom's hot!"

"Yeah," added Owen, "Are you adopted?"

Duncan jabbed the fat boy painfully in the gut.

"Abusing your fellow partners as usual, I see." A gruff voice said coldly. A man in his late forties, with glasses that looked almost identical to Duncan walked into the lobby.

Duncan shot the man a glare and said in a voice just as cold, "Dad."

"Son." He replied, returning the glare.

Father and son stood apart from each other, glaring in silence while Geoff and Owen looked between the two.

"Oh, now I see the resemblance!" Owen loudly stated, breaking the lingering, icy silence.

"So…" began Mr. Scott, unsure of what to say to his delinquent son. "You won."

"Looks like it." Duncan coldly replied.

"You cheat?" His father asked, narrowing his grey eyes.

"Sure Dad, I managed to switch all the votes while being squished into a tiny throne with Beth." Duncan sarcastically replied, rolling his eyes.

His father only gave an angry snort in reply, obviously still not convinced.

Another long, uncomfortable silence took place until Owen farted.

"Well, nice talking to you Pops, but I think the other parents are about to arrive." Duncan growled as more parents began to enter the lobby. It was obvious that this conversation wasn't going anywhere so why try to pretend that they liked each other?

The surly man stared at his teen son through narrowed grey eyes a moment longer before walking without another word. However, the father paused and spoke to his son without turning around. "I'd hide if I were you. There's this one mother that seemed to be quite angry at you for some reason."

"Who?" Duncan inquired, genuinely puzzled.

Mr. Scott merely shrugged, obviously not caring about his son's welfare. "Didn't bother to ask."

When his father had walked away, Duncan shared a confused glance with Geoff. Duncan was about to ask his best friend if he knew what his father was talking about, but an angry, banishee-like screech told answered his question.

"WHERE'S THAT OGRE OF A DELINQUENT WHO VOTED MY DAUGHTER OFF?"

A woman of Indian descent, who looked almost exactly like Courtney except with black hair pulled back in a bun, was standing in the middle of the doorway with, for some odd reason, a lamppost in her hand. Her dark eyes were narrowed into vengeful slits as they flickered around the room, like a tiger searching for its prey.

Duncan instantly hid behind Owen's wide form.

"Mom!" Courtney cheerfully ran towards the tigress-like woman. When she passed Duncan's hunched form, Courtney paused and put on a somber expression as she offered advice to her boyfriend, "I'd hide if I were you."

Courtney then resumed her happy expression and continued to run to hug the scary mother.

Needing no further urging, Duncan ducked back behind Owen.

"Oh, look! Mom and Dad are here! AND THEY BROUGHT PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE BROWNIES! WHHOOOOOO!" Owen threw his arms up in air and let out a cheer, racing over to his overly obese parents and his two equally fat older brothers leaving a cowering Duncan out in the open.

"HEY! Get back here, tubby!" Duncan demanded angrily. "I need a hiding spot!"

"Don't worry, dude. I'm here for you!" Geoff reassured, smiling and placing a hand on Duncan's shoulder.

"GEOFF!" Four voices shouted out through the thong of parents, siblings, and relatives. Four young, blonde-headed boys came running up and pounced upon Geoff, hugging whatever body part they came in contact with.

"Little bros! What's up, little dudes?" Geoff asked, happily hugging the smallest one tightly.

"Uh, Geoff?" Duncan asked, still trying to stand behind Geoff and out of sight, "Who are these kids?" One of the little blonde boys untangled himself from Geoff and looked up at Duncan, squinting his blue eyes.

"Aren't you the guy that got beat by a girl in the kiddy pool?" the little boy squeaked, narrowing his eyes, "I thought you were supposed to be a bad boy. You aren't that tough!"

Duncan scowled and lifted a clenched fist, growling, "You little brat! I'll show you tough! I'll…"

Geoff quickly got between his best friend and younger brother. "Chill dudes! Little bros, this is my best bro, Duncan. Best bro, these are my little bros." He gestured towards the one talkative brat, "This one is Leo. Leo, Duncan, be cool with each other. We're all family here!"

Both Duncan and Leo stuck their tongues out and blew raspberries at each other.

Bridgette then came running up. At the sight of the little mini-Geoffs, the surfer girl began "awwing."

"Oh look how cute! You never told me you had younger brothers!" Bridgette cooed, hugging two of them. "They're so adorable! I wish I had younger siblings!" Setting the two young boys down, she took hold of Geoff's hand and turned to Duncan.

"Mind if I steal Geoff away to see my mom?" she asked.

"Yes." Duncan rudely answered.

"Of course he doesn't!" Geoff cheerfully chirped, oblivious to Duncan's actual answer or the glare the delinquent was shooting him. He allowed himself to be lead away by Bridgette, his four younger brothers following, and waved to Duncan. "Later dude!"

Duncan looked as if he was about to go after Geoff, but suddenly heard Courtney's voice.

"Mom, please calm down! Duncan and I are splitting the money." Courtney was speaking to the older woman armed with a deadly looking lamppost. The two mocha-skinned women were walking towards him.

Panicking, Duncan threw himself in on the floor and behind a rather large, grumpy-looking pig.

Courtney's mother ceased her stalking and patted her daughter on the cheek. "Oh Courtney, I know how much you care about this boy." She said in a slightly accented voice. "However, if your father and I are going to let him into our household, I must show him what will happen if he ever, EVER mistreats a hair on my sweet, innocent daughter's pretty little head." She slapped the lamppost against the palm of her hand to make a point. Courtney gave an exasperated sigh.

When the two walked past, Duncan let out a relieved sigh and made a mental note to never, EVER even consider cheating on Courtney if he wanted to live a long, healthy life.

"Duncan, what are you doing behind Bertha?" Beth asked, looking down at Duncan. Her parents were right behind her. Neither looked very happy at the sight of delinquent.

Duncan blinked. "Bertha?"

The giant pig squealed and gave Duncan a big, sloppy lick on the face.

"EW!" Duncan leapt to his feet, gagging, and wiped spit off his face. Big Bertha, Beth's pet pig, batted her eyelashes flirtatiously at the mohawked teen.

"Awww…she likes you!" Beth giggled behind her hand.

"A little too much! Yuck!" Duncan backed away, continuing to wipe his mouth in disgust. Suddenly he bounced into someone. He turned around and found himself face to face with three, identical-looking teen girls with tan skin and long brown hair.

"Uhhh…" Duncan blinked, a little puzzled at why the triplets were staring at him so intensely.

Three identical smiles lit up three identical faces.

"Hi, I'm Mary." The girl on the left said, stepping up to Duncan.

"I'm Ester!" The middle girl said, stepping up.

"And I'm Eve!" The girl on the right chirped, stepping up with her sisters.

"We're Noah's sisters!" they spoke together.

"….Uhhh….okay?" Duncan took a wary step back, a little freaked out by the odd display. What did these girls want?

"We all wanted you to win." Said Mary.

"Yeah, totally!" agreed Ester.

"Completely." Eve nodded.

"We're your biggest fans!" They said together.

A couple feet away, Noah paused from reading his book and gave a weary sigh. "It's so nice to have such a supportive family."

Duncan heard and retorted, "Dude, have you met my dad?"

"Touché." Noah replied, returning to his book.

"So where's Courtney at?" Mary abruptly asked, leaning in and batting her large, dark eyes at Duncan. "Do you have a big date planned? Are you going to get her a present to show how much you love her? How about a pet raccoon? Or a pony?"

Mary was roughly pushed away by her sister Ester.

"Please, Mary, why would Duncan want to get Courtney anything but a restraining order?" Ester curtly snapped. "Everyone knows that it's Gwen that he really likes!" Turning to Duncan, she asked, "So tell me, when are you going to kick Courtney to the curb and reveal your burning, undying, passionate, forbidden love for Gwen in a love song personally written by you?" All this came jumbled out in one, speedy sentence.

_What the hell?_ Duncan gave Noah a pleading sideways glance.

"They're shippers. It's the big thing on all the Total Drama blogs." Noah answered without looking up from his book. "Mary supports you and Courtney together while Ester supports you and Gwen together."

"What about Eve?" Duncan almost fearfully asked.

Eve shoved her two sisters aside and leaned close enough so that she could wrap her arms around Duncan's neck and smile flirtatiously into his wide, blue eyes.

"The ship I support is you with me!"

"Okay, this is flattering, but also kind of creepy…" Duncan said, flickering his eyes away from Eve's, who was hovering only an inch away from his, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"…and with Harold." Eve added in a quiet undertone.

"And now I'm out of here!" Duncan torn himself away from Eve and flung her back to her sisters, who were still bickering about Courtney and Gwen.

"Please! Putting the Goth and the Bad Boy together is just so cliché!"

"Better the Goth than having handsome Duncan being paired up with a bratty snob!"

"Don't deny that you felt something all those times you picked on Harold! Oh, and if we get married, I don't mind you having a gay lover on the side! I'LL STILL LOVE YOU!"

Noah shut his book and glared at his triplet sisters in annoyance. "I hate this family and everyone in it." He muttered.

"STOP SHIPPING ME! ARGH!" Duncan yelled, holding his ears. However, he was able to catch one very familiar voice.

"Wow, Duncan, I can see that you've inherited my charisma with the ladies apparently."

Duncan took his hands off his ears after hearing the voice and whirled around, blue eyes wide with shock. At the sight of the familiar face, a genuine smile spread on his lips.

"Derek?" Duncan gasped, his smile growing larger at the sight of his older brother. It almost made him look like a young kid again. "DEREK!"

Duncan ran towards his twenty-five year old brother, arms spread out as if to hug him. However, the bad boy sheepishly caught himself and, instead, butted knuckles with this older sibling. Derek looked like an older version of Duncan, with the same black hair, except longer and scruffier, and a less muscular body. He had also inherited their father's dark grey eyes and wore an orange hoodie.

"So I saw that you won the big bucks!" Derek good-humoredly ruffled up Duncan's green mohawk, "Looks like you can pay me back for all the times I've had to bail you out!"

"Oh, you mean pay you back all the money you borrowed from Malcolm?" Duncan joked, laughing and ducking his head away from his brother's hand. "Hey, watch the hawk!" He patted his mohawk back into place and asked, "Where is Big M anyway?"

Derek shrugged his shoulders. "Somewhere around here, I suppose, showing his new girlfriend around." He gazed at something over Duncan's shoulder and smiled. "Speaking of girlfriends…"

Courtney pushed her way past Tyler, who was entertaining his father by reenacting one of the challenges from season one, and Lindsay, who was giggling and gossiping among her two sisters, and came stumbling to Duncan, panting and out of breath.

"Okay, you should be safe for now." Courtney breathed, pointing her thumb towards the exit. "I've convinced my mom that you're probably hiding in one of the studio sets and my dad is busy bragging at the punch table." She pushed a wad of money into Duncan's hand. "But just to be safe, here's change for a taxi. I'd give you about an hour and a half to get out of here before mom picks up your trail."

Damn, this was becoming the weirdest family party Duncan had ever been to.

"Wow, she gets into the criminal game pretty quickly." Derek commented. "Great choice!"

Courtney shot the older man a criticizing, narrowed stare. "And who might you be?"

Duncan placed a hand on Derek's back and introduced that two. "Relax Princess. This is my big bro, Derek. Derek, Princess. Princess, Derek."

"I will admit that I was critic of my little brother dating you." Derek said in all seriousness. "But then I saw you beat the crap out of him in the kiddy pool." He shook his head, grinning. "Now you have my utmost approval."

"There goes any chance of you getting money back." Duncan said, scowling. Courtney, however, looked quite pleased by his brother's compliment.

"I'm glad that both of you are here," Derek continued, glancing back and forth between the young couple. "Because I have a big surprise that I want to share with you guys! There's someone I want both of you to meet."

Both Duncan and Courtney waited in anticipation as Derek took a step back to allow two women to move forwards.

The two let out a gasp.

"Gwen?" Courtney gasped angrily, glaring at the Goth girl.

"Courtney?" Gwen gasped, looking equally as puzzled as Courtney and Duncan.

"Arts?" Duncan gasped the loudest at seeing a slim, pretty-looking woman with short red hair standing beside Gwen.

Gwen stared at Duncan, dark eyes wide with confusion. "Wait, you know my Aunt Arts?"

"Aunt?" Duncan asked, blinking. "I just know that she used to date my brother Derek back when I was a kid! But they broke up years ago!" He stared at the woman who used to be the sassy ice-cream girl who had helped Derek and Malcolm get him out of the mall years ago when he was only six. "So you two are back together?"

Arts laughed and gazed lovingly over at Derek. "Oh, we're more than that."

Courtney, Duncan, and Gwen stared, frozen in shock, when Derek took Arts hand and proclaimed loudly.

"We're married!"

There was an almost deafening silence. Even the people around them had gone silent at the announcement. Duncan's eye twitched while Gwen blinked several times. At last Courtney spoke.

"Sooo…since you two are married," Courtney slowly said, "that means that Duncan and Gwen are technically related now?"

"Yep." answered Derek.

"And you can't technically date someone you're related to, right?" she continued ask. "Hypothetically of course."

"Uhhh…generally, yes." Answered Arts.

"Oh." Courtney was silent for second longer before suddenly letting out a big cheer.

"YES!" The CIT gave Gwen a big hug before turning to plant Duncan a big kiss on the lips. She then whirled around to shake both Arts and Derek's hands, saying, "Congratulations! May you have many long years together!"

"Now hold up!" Duncan shouted, waving his hands in the air to get everyone's attention. He pointed a finger at Arts. "Okay, you date my brother for like two years and then you break up leaving my brother a pathetic sack of spineless, tear-spilling guts…"

"I NEVER CRIED!" Derek argued, angrily interrupting. "Besides, how would you know? You were only eight!"

"…I bought the tissue boxes with my allowance." Duncan bluntly answered before continuing his rant, "As I was saying, then you basically disappear for seventeen years, and then all of the sudden come back and get hitched! Am I missing an important piece of puzzle here?"

"Duncan, just shut up and wish your brother and his wife a long and happy marriage!" Courtney snapped with a growl in her voice, elbowing her boyfriend in the ribs.

"No, I agree with Duncan." Gwen said, hands on her hips. "Aunt Arts, how did you and Duncan's brother get together after all these years?"

"It's quite easy to explain." A new voice said. It was Gwen's mother. She came forward with Duncan's mother walking beside her. Duncan's father was rather grumpily following behind two women.

"You see Gwen," continued Gwen's mother, "My younger sister, Artemis…"

"For the last time, Sarah, my name is Arts." Art said, rolling her eyes at her older sister.

Gwen's mother continued, "Anyway, she came with us to a Total Drama convention for parents and family of the contestants during the beginning of season one. It was there that we met Derek and his family again."

Duncan's mother laughed, "Imagine our surprise when we found out that Derek's girlfriend also had a family member on the game as well!"

"Well, we started watching the episodes together," Arts said, chuckling as she glanced over at her husband. "Making bets on who would win between Gwen and Duncan."

"Laughing over how horrific the challenges were." added Derek with a blissful smile on his face as if looking back on cherished memories.

"Musing over which relationships would last." continued Arts, "Especially the ones with you and Duncan."

"Yeah, it was hilarious seeing Gwen's boyfriend go crazy on the number 9."

"Almost as funny as seeing Duncan act like a wimp around Courtney."

If looks could kill, both Arts and Derek would be reduced to mere piles of ashes by the glares their younger relatives were shooting them.

"So during the middle of season one, we started dating again." Art explained.

"And then after Courtney came back in season two, we got married." Derek finished. "Happy now?"

"Absolutely _thrilled_." Gwen sarcastically answered after a rather lengthy, awkward silence following their explanation.

Duncan still looked less than happy.

"So, you two are saying that even after it was our suffering and humiliation that got you two back together and in love again and yet, you still didn't even bother to invite us to the wedding?" Duncan said in an enraged growl. "Seriously, WHAT THE CRAP? If you two are going to get a romantic buzz from watching me and everyone else almost die for fifty-four episodes, then a little appreciation would be nice!"

"Oh, they sent some invitations." Chris said, grinning as he walked up, "But since you two couldn't take off the show…"

"I was voted off by then!" Gwen argued.

"I didn't feel like telling you."

Gwen glared and flipped the host off.

"Well," Chris continued, "since you two couldn't take off the show, I went instead. I must say, you two family's throw an outstanding wedding party! Best time I had in years!"

"Go jump in a hole and die." Duncan muttered.

His mother placed a calming hand on her son's shoulder. "Oh, you two don't be upset. Since you couldn't be there, Derek and Arts made it up by making you two the best man and the maid of honor!"

Duncan, Gwen, and every contestant that had gathered around to hear this odd, interesting conversation, all gave the woman a blank stare.

"Come again?" Duncan asked.

"No offense, Mrs. DM," LeShawna said questionably, "But how could Duncan and my girl Gwen be the Best Man and Maid of Honor when they weren't there?"

"Time for wedding video!" Chris proclaimed. He gave a loud, commanding yell. "CHEF! LIGHTS!"

There was a groan from the gathered crowd. "Awww, not the wedding video!" said a thirteen year old boy who Duncan recognized as Gwen's younger brother.

All the lights in the lobby went off and a wide screen was slowly lowered down from the ceiling. A home video began to play showing the wedding. From the sounds of the voice coming behind the camera, it was Chris who was filming this.

"_And there's the groom!" Video Chris said pointing the camera to where Derek stood at the altar. Chef, for some odd reason, was standing in the priest's position at the altar._

"When was there an episode in Total Drama Action where Chef and Chris weren't present?" Harold asked.

"Probably one of the aftermaths." Said Bridgette holding little Leo in her arms. Geoff's young brother nodded in agreement with the pretty surfer girl.

"_This gives me a great idea for a new hit series," Video Chris continued speaking as the camera lens gazed around the wedding area, "Total…Drama…WEDDING! Might have to wait a couple years, but man will it be worth it!"_

Courtney turned to Duncan. "We're getting eloped in Vegas."

"Agreed."

"_And here comes the groomsmen and the bridesmaids led by the Best Man and the Maid of Honor!" Chris narrated, "Who are our very own fan favorites of Total Drama Island…DUNCAN AND GWEN!"_

_The two teens acting as Best Man and Maid of Honor were must certainly not Duncan and Gwen. The boy acting as Duncan was actually Gwen's younger brother, dressed up in Duncan's attire, complete with a green mohawk._

"_Mom, since I'm playing Duncan, who's playing me?" Gwen's brother called out to the audience. _

"_You're out sick with the flu, now stop interrupting the wedding!" called Gwen's mother from somewhere in the wedding audience._

"_Dammit."_

"_WHAT DID YOU SAY?"_

"_That was Duncan speaking not me!"_

_Leading the bridesmaids and acting as Gwen, was the same neighbor girl that Gwen's mother had used to play Gwen in the video from home during season one of Total Drama Island._

"_I am still getting paid for this at the reception party, right?" the neighbor girl dully asked._

At that, the video came to an end. The wide-screen withdrew back into the ceiling and the lights came back on in the hotel lobby.

"Now, weren't Duncan and Gwen so adorable at the wedding? Haha!" Chris asked, grinning like a idiot as he looked at the contestants irritated faces.

"Oh screw you!" came Duncan's immediate response.

"Well, at least, it was kind of thoughtful." Gwen said, looking quite uncomfortable after seeing the video. "They did make us the Maid of Honor and Best Man."

"You mean made cheap, last minute copies of yourselves Maid of Honor and Best Man." Noah put in.

"I'm not cheap!" Gwen's brother called out.

"Well, I enjoyed it." Heather said, smirking in delight at seeing two of her hated enemies being embarrassed.

"Come on, bro." Derek said, giving Duncan a pleading look. "You two can't be mad at us forever. Surely you can see something good out of this?"

Duncan thought for a second and then his face lit up into a giant, devious grin. "Actually, I do see something good out of all this." He pointed a finger at Arts. "Okay, my new sister-in-law, you're Gwen's aunt, right?"

"Right…" Arts said, looking slightly puzzled at where Duncan was going at.

"And since you're married to my brother, that makes him Gwen's uncle, am I correct?"

"Yeah…." Derek said, looking as confused as everyone else.

Duncan's grin grew evil. "And since I'm Derek's brother then that means, according to the laws of marriage, I'M ALSO GWEN'S UNCLE!" He let out a loud laugh and pointed at Gwen. "HA! Since I'm your uncle, you have to do whatever I tell you to do!"

"Oh hell no!" LeShawna said, not believing this bull for a second.

"Well, technically, in a weird, odd way, Duncan's right." Cody put in.

Duncan was having a laugh fest over this new revelation. "Hahaha, oh, this is too good! Hahahahaha!"

Gwen, looking very annoyed, turned to Courtney. "May I?"

Courtney smiled. "Be my guest."

Gwen turned to a chortling Duncan, swung her leg back, and kicked him right where it hurts the most. The poor delinquent fell to his knees, holding his aching groin, with eyes wide with pain.

"_Uncle_!" he squeaked in a tiny voice before falling over.

Courtney and Gwen smiled at each other and high-fived.

Heather's scathing voice spoke out with a mocking tone. "Wow, when I thought you two weirdo losers couldn't get anymore weird."

Duncan managed to stand up in time to glare along with Courtney and Gwen at Heather as the bald Asian girl strutted forward. She gave an evil smirk at the three, hands on her hips.

"So the delinquent and the Goth are finally related. Knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Your freaky, little family will be complete once you marry the Crazy-in-Training, and when that happens, you might as well just sign up for Jerry Springer. It's the only place you three will fit in." Heather taunted, laughing.

"Now, Heather is that anyway to talk with your friends?" a kind, feminine voice said. A beautiful Asian woman a little older than Derek walked up holding hands with a tall, blonde-headed man with a uni-brow.

"Lilly! What you doing here?" Heather growled. "And who's that guy!" she asked, pointing an angry finger at the man her older sister was holding hands with.

Duncan's jaw fell open.

"Malcolm?" He gaped in horror and awe at his eldest brother. "You're dating Heather's sister!"

Heather looked as if she had been slapped in the face.

"YOU'RE DATING THAT OGRE'S BROTHER?" She shrieked in fury like a dying banshee.

"Oh…yeah." Derek sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Perhaps I should have mentioned that earlier."

Now it was Gwen's turn to smirk evilly. "Welcome to the weirdo family, Heather!"

"We're not just dating…" Lilly began.

"Let me guess," Courtney said, folding her arms over her chest, "It was a double wedding."

Lilly and Malcolm glanced uncomfortably at each other. "Uhh…not exactly." Lilly admitted.

"We're having a baby." Malcolm announced, placing an arm around Lilly's shoulder.

Once again, there was a silence that was only broken by the sound of a cricket chirping. Gwen, Duncan, and Heather all had one eye twitching, as they stared at the new couple in shock and astonishment. The silence was at last broken by Geoff's happy shout.

"CONGRATULATIONS! Cheers for the new little dude or dudette!" The party boy cheered. "This calls for one heck of a baby shower! PARTY AT MY PLACE!"

The crowd let out a wild cheer and began to follow Geoff as he began to lead them all out the doors of the lobby and towards the taxis.

"Wow, a baby is going to be born with both Heather's and Duncan's genes in it." Noah drily stated to Cody as the two friends headed out. "Here comes the downfall of humankind."

It was here that Heather promptly fainted.

After a minute or two, there was only Courtney, Duncan, Gwen, and fainted Heather standing alone in the empty, dirty hotel lobby.

"So…uh…I guess congratulations are in order?" said Courtney to Duncan and Gwen.

"Ummm…yeah…sure…thanks." came their mumbled responses.

An awkward silence followed.

Courtney sighed. "Look, I know this is all weird and unexpected, but you two…I mean three," The CIT corrected, glancing down at the still unconscious Heather, "are going to have to get used to being related to each other now."

Duncan and Gwen glanced at each other.

"Well, I always kind of think of you as a sister," Duncan admitted. "I guess it's cool."

"You're not the worse person I can think of being related to." Gwen said grinning. "But don't expect me to start calling you Uncle." She glanced at Courtney. "Or you Aunt if you two ever get married."

"Wouldn't dream of it!" Courtney replied.

Duncan smirked. "Of being called Aunt or being married to me?"

"BOTH!"

"Still don't like being related to Heather." Gwen said, glaring down at her bald enemy.

"Does anybody like being related to her?" Duncan asked. All of them knew that answer to that.

"I guess there's always going to be people in our families that we don't like being related to." Courtney wisely said.

Suddenly, an enraged screech echoed throughout the hotel.

"_**WHERE ARE YOU? I KNOW YOU'RE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE DELIQUENT! IF I CATCH YOU WITH MY DAUGHTER, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHERE SHE GETS HER FIGHTING SKILLS FROM!"**_

Duncan shared a horrified glance with Courtney and Gwen.

"Race you to Geoff's house!" He fearfully said, running towards the door.

"DEAL!" Courtney and Gwen shouted bolting after their friend.

As they ran down the street, Duncan said to Courtney, "I hope you don't mind me saying that I really, REALLY don't want to be related to that woman anytime soon!"

"If you don't shut up and run then, trust me, you won't!"

* * *

**I've had so much fun writing this. I actually did do a bit of research on Total Drama wiki to find out information about each contestant's families. Geoff does have four younger brothers and Noah actually has nine older siblings, though I only mentioned three of them. The site doesn't offer many names for the siblings so I made up most of the names. Little fun fact, I gave all Noah's sisters Biblical names so they'd match his. Heather does have a sister and a younger brother. I have no idea if Courtney is actually half Indian, but I like to believe she might be. **

**Anywho, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this and that it offered a couple laughs. Please Read and Review!**


End file.
